i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
