Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Randomize
