I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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