I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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