If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
