Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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