Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Randomize
