is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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