You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
