false alarm. still invincible.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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