question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
