Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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