8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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