let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
