Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
