Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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