We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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