tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
