i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
