I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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