party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
