If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
