Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
