OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
