I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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