I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
