I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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