All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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