Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
