Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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