Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
