I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
