Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
