thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Randomize
