I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Randomize
