why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
