Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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