he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I cut my penus on the lid.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
