If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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