is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
