OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
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