Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
that's an acceptable place to lick
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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