I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
