ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
