Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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