you didnt know i had herpes?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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