can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
