May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
