Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
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