I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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