she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
